there was nothing different about the morning where i felt the first *twinge*. i had laid down on the couch while the girls were running around the living room, just to catch my breath. and then *it* happened.
nothing major, nothing too noticeable, but enough to catch my attention.
i called my mom to put her on alert, and set about waiting.
after lunch, my mom stopped by because she had had a feeling that she needed to pick up the girls, so we packed them up, kissed them good-bye, waved good-bye and headed back inside.
where i was suddenly faced with everything i *hadn't* done.
luckily, i had shaved my legs the night before.
so, as any woman would do in pre-labour, i sat down at the computer and checked email, facebook, a couple of blogs...
you know, things that a procrastinator like myself would do...
but you see, livie's labour had started so similar, and for whatever reason, i believed that it would happen the same way. inconsistent contractions until midnight and then the party would get started.
so there was no rush.
and at 11:50pm i told tony that my contractions were 6 minutes apart and i was going to have a bath.
to which he looked at me like i was a crazy woman.
but, a bath i was going to have, so i looked at the clock: 11:52pm. i turned on the taps and began to get my bathing gear out when i had to stop and not move...or breathe.
this prompted another look at the clock: 11:56pm.
a bath was not to be had.
and so as any couple about to have a baby would do, we rushed to...the bank, the convenience store (for snacks, of course), oh and back home because i had forgotten a couple of things. all the while dealing with contractions that were now 3 minutes apart.
what fun!
and i say that in all seriousness.
you see, a lot of fear had led up to this experience. 2 weeks before elias' birth, i had found out that he was sunny-side up, and with the extreme pressure that he was putting on my tailbone, i found myself placed on morphine.
and after struggling with post-partum after my last two deliveries, i was terrified that i would walk down that road again.
but.
God is so, so incredibly good. He placed all the right people in my path leading up to *d-day* - women with so much experience who encouraged me, cheered me on, built me up...and so when i felt the first twinge, i also felt that i could do this.
and,
i had tony by my side.
all that to say...
i had fun.
oh, i still had to tell tony and the nurse that i was trying to crack a joke after a hard contraction, it still hurt like nothing else known to man, but i felt safe, relaxed, in control (for the most part) and so, so excited to meet my little man.
when i got to the hospital and was checked at 12:30am, i was already 6-7cm. i remember looking at the clock at one point (without my glasses on) and seeing that it was 6:30am. i remember at that moment rolling over and gripping the bar at the bottom of the bed and saying that i had to push. i think i was told to wait, but another contraction hit and my body began pushing on its own.
7 minutes later, elias was in my arms.
at 4:32am. (never try and tell time without the aid of your glasses...)
all 8lbs 2oz of him.
everything appeared normal until around 8:30am when i began to feel clammy and light-headed - that's when the nurses and my doctor discovered that i had been hemorrhaging.
turns out that when one is in active labour for only 4 hours, ones uterus gets a little...exhausted - especially when there is no let up between contractions for the last 30 minutes...and ends up not being able to do whatever it is that a uterus does to prevent excessive bleeding.
thankfully, though painfully (and i thought nothing could be more painful then labour...boy, was i wrong), my amazing doctor knew what to do and i was taken to my room with a lot less blood, but my arms full of the most beautiful baby boy i have ever seen.
elias timothy tony baker - named first and foremost as a reminder of our Jehovah God, second for his papa that we almost lost in february, and third for his incredible daddy - the man that i love more than any other.
i look at my son and daughters and wonder what i did to ever deserve these amazing blessings - and the thing is, i didn't do anything. these 3 children are just that - blessings, gifts from an amazing Heavenly Father.
i sometimes wonder about the baby i lost - i wonder how he or she would have fit into the mix and i find myself longing for the moment when they are all reunited - and our family is complete.
until then, i am loving finding out the different facets to these 3 blessings...with a bit of exasperation thrown into the mix every once in a while.
my life is a bit crazier, a bit busier, but it's good.
and i'm thankful.
i can't help but agree...
